... it was funny to me....

dingle · May 8, 2017

Fun fact of the day that tickled my fancy:

I was Googling blinds for a basement installation and I entered: 'cheap blonds'....

Needless to say the hits were nasty.

vreihen · May 8, 2017

When I was in high school, a big, burly Highway Patrol officer came to our sociology class to give us the "drugs are bad" lecture. He was discussing marijuana and told us that it was a "gateway drug".

"70% of all heroin addicts," he said, "started out using marijuana."

To which I replied, "I'll bet 99% of them started out drinking milk."

I was asked to leave the lecture.

vreihen · May 8, 2017

Discussion at a Russian pharmacy:

Customer: I need tranquilizers.

Pharmacist: Do you have a prescription?

Customer: What, a Russian passport is not enough?

vreihen · May 8, 2017

While Trump is on a visit to Moscow, he and Putin begin debating the merits of their respective societies. They argue about moral values and which country is doing better.

Trump: I've heard that all Russian are alcoholics.

Putin: That's a Russophobic myth. I bet there's not a single drunk out in Moscow tonight.

Trump: I don't believe you. I bet if we take your limo out for a spin, I'll see some drunks staggering around.

Putin: Okay, let me prove you wrong. We'll drive around and if you see a single drunk you can shoot them with my own gun.

Putin let's the FSB know what they're doing, and tells them to do a sweep and round up every single drunk on their route. He says if Trump sees a single drunk everyone will get sent to Siberia.

Trump and Putin drive around for 10 minutes, and the streets are empty. Not a single person is out, let alone a drunk. Trump is about to accept defeat when a visibly drunk man staggers out of an apartment building, singing a Russian folk song. Trump leans out the window and shoots him.

Trump: See Vlad, I saw one person and he was drunk! All Russians are drunks!

Six months later Putin travels to Washington DC and he and Trump are having the same argument about morals and society. Putin suggests they do the same thing they did in Moscow, and he will shoot any drunks that he sees on Washington's streets. Trump let's the Secret Service know to go ahead and make sure there are no drunks anywhere on their route.

The two presidents drive around for 10 minutes, without seeing anyone. Just as they're turning around a huge group of drunks stumbles out of a bar. Putin gets excited, leans out the window and mows them all down. He teases Trump for the rest of the night.

Putin: Donald, you said Russians were worse drunks than Americans. I just killed 20 of them, looks like Russia wins again!

The next morning Vladimir Putin picks up the newspaper and sees the headline: 20 Russian Embassy Workers Slain In Drive-By Shooting.

Santos · May 8, 2017

Uwe · May 8, 2017

Santos said:

No fappin' way would I click on those links or go to that site!

vreihen · May 8, 2017

Uwe said:
No fappin' way would I click on those links or go to that site!

...which is why we're going to suggest changing your forum name to "Limp Mode....."

NZDubNurd · May 8, 2017

Uwe said:
No fappin' way would I click on those links or go to that site!

So true!!! Do it at work... like Santos did ;-)

:thumbs:

....on your computer

vreihen · May 9, 2017

Speaking of Limp Mode.....

http://www.kfvs12.com/story/35370757/man-shoots-himself-in-penis-while-getting-out-of-car

Man shoots himself in penis while getting out of car

By WTOL Staff

TOLEDO, OH (WTOL) - A man was admitted to a hospital after shooting himself in a very sensitive area Sunday night.

According to Toledo police, they got a call after Murad Hamedallah was heard screaming that he had been shot while getting out of his car.

The caller told police he watched Hamedallah walk towards a garbage can on Manhattan before eventually falling to the ground.

When crews arrived, they found Hamedallah with a single gunshot wound that went through his penis and right thigh.

Police found a bullet hole in his driver's seat; the gun was found behind the garbage can on Manhattan.

Hamedallah was taken to St. Vincent Medical Center in Toledo for serious injuries. He's expected to be okay.

vreihen · May 9, 2017

Looks like another airline is getting into the SPIRIT :P of poor customer service..... :facepalm:

https://www.yahoo.com/gma/police-called-restore-order-fights-erupt-spirit-airlines-105010090--abc-news-topstories.html

Police called to restore order as fights erupt at Spirit Airlines terminal in Fort Lauderdale

KARMA ALLEN
Good Morning America
May 9, 2017

Chaos broke out at a Florida airport on Monday after multiple Spirit Airlines flights were canceled, leading to long lines, irate customers and altercations, according to police.

Deputies were called to the Fort Lauderdale–Hollywood International Airport in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, to deal with commotion there after several passengers became angry, according to the Broward County Sheriff's Office.

"There were several people there that were upset," the department's spokeswoman Gina Carter told ABC News on Monday. "We were called in to just make sure that things were kept from getting very unruly."

Video posted on Twitter captured a chaotic scene at a Spirit Airlines terminal at the airport as angry travelers yelled at staffers while police officers tried to restore order.

Carter said there were no injuries reported and things seem to be under control now. She did not say if there were any arrests made, but cellphone video showed at least three people being taken away in handcuffs by deputies.

One witness told ABC's Florida affiliate WSVN on Monday that multiple people were detained. "I saw two people go down on the floor and get … handcuffed and dragged out of here," said the passenger, who was not named in the report.

Another passenger said he saw officers apprehending a woman. "There was a lady [detained] earlier. She was quite upset and very vocal about her frustrations," he said. "I see people are very disappointed."

Spirit, a Florida-based discount airline, blamed the chaos on a canceled flights as a result of labor negotiations with its pilots.

"We are shocked and saddened to see the videos of what took place at Fort Lauderdale–Hollywood International Airport this evening," the company said in a statement Monday. "This is a result of unlawful labor activity by some Spirit pilots designed to disrupt Spirit operations for our customers by canceling multiple flights across our network."

The company accused the pilots of putting their "quest for a new contract ahead of getting customers to their destinations" and the safety of Spirit staff.

Spirit said it filed a federal lawsuit against the Airline Pilots Association, which it accused of intentionally disrupting the airline's operations, leading to hundreds of canceled flights.

The Airline Pilots Association did not immediately respond to ABC News' request for comment.

ABC News' Matt Foster and Andrew Evans contributed to this report.

vreihen · May 10, 2017

My employer is in an industry being actively targeted by overseas phishing scams. I have been reporting URLs of phishing web sites to several anti-phishing databases since last spring. One of them just sent a confirmation that my current "kill count" with them was up to 419, which had me ROTFLMAO.

For those not familiar with Nigerian Criminal Code, Article 419 is their laws dealing with fraud. I ASSUme that everyone has received a phishing email from a Nigerian Prince by now.....

Uwe · May 10, 2017

ctv-edmonton-news-follow-cactvedmonton-43m-in-cash-found-in-19618833.png

vreihen · May 10, 2017

^^^ The sad thing is that someone is going to use a link to that very article to spam people asking for help getting it released!!!!! ^^^

vreihen · May 11, 2017

I have a suggestion...don't make boring cars^H^H^H transportation appliances!!!!!

https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/cars/2017/05/10/toyota-akio-toyoda-earnings/101502702/

Toyota CEO: Don't call our cars 'boring' anymore

Nathan Bomey , USA TODAY
Published 7:55 a.m. ET May 10, 2017

Sensible, dependable, long-lasting.

That's how many new-vehicle buyers would describe Toyota. But boring? That hits a little too close to home for CEO Akio Toyoda.

"Until now, there were times when Toyota’s cars were called 'boring' or were said to be lacking in character," Toyoda told reporters Wednesday. "But I now feel that, in terms of driving and design, our customers have begun to favorably evaluate our cars."

Nonetheless, he acknowledged, there's "still room for improvement."

Toyoda's comments came as the Japanese automaker reported so-so financial results for the full fiscal year ended March 31.

Because of tough currency rates, the company reported a 20.8% drop in net income to a still-robust 1.831 trillion yen, or $16.1 billion at today's rates.

In the calendar-year 2016, Toyota lost its title as the world's largest automaker by a slight margin to Volkswagen Group.

Revenue fell 2.8% to $242.2 billion, while operating income declined 30.1% to $17.5 billion. Toyota projected a 2.5% decrease in revenue and an 18% fall in net income for the fiscal year ending in March 2018. The automaker projected fiscal-year retail vehicle sales of 10.25 million, essentially flat.

The company's vaunted profit margins are slipping. Toyota projected that its operating margin would fall from 7.2% last year to 5.8% in the new fiscal year.

Toyoda said the company must prepare for the "paradigm shift" in the industry toward self-driving vehicles.

"It is my view that our latest financial results demonstrate Toyota’s desire to steadily and continuously advance our investment in the future, rather than place top priority on short-term profit," Toyoda said.

He said the company was prepared for dramatic change after establishing an internal division called the Toyota Research Institute to work on futuristic technologies.

For now, though, the company's bread and butter remained vehicles like the recently redesigned Camry sedan, which Toyoda half-jokingly dubbed as "sexy" at the Detroit auto show in January.

The vehicle will be manufactured based on a new global platform for design and engineering. Toyota plans to extend that platform to other vehicles to lower costs and accelerate redesign rates.

Uwe · May 11, 2017

vreihen said:
I have a suggestion...don't make boring cars^H^H^H transportation appliances!!!!!

The only Toyota I recall as being anything but boring was the MR2 from the mid 1980s. Those were cool.

-Uwe-

NZDubNurd · May 11, 2017

And FJ40 Landcruisers.

We did a fair bit of environment destryoying in one as kids.

vreihen · May 11, 2017

Uwe said:
The only Toyota I recall as being anything but boring was the MR2 from the mid 1980s. Those were cool.

I drove three different Mk1's that our club used as drivers' runoffs cars at our last event of each season. The first year's runoffs ended with me sitting behind the wheel of a car with a seized alternator bearing and snapped fan belt. The second year's car popped a head gasket while I was driving. When the third year came around (third different MR2), the club (rightfully) made me sit on the sidelines until everyone else finished driving it before taking my run. That car went home with a tarp over the top where the glass sunroof used to be before my helmet torqued the rails mid-run. In retrospect, I sank more Japanese tonnage than JFK did as a PT boat skipper in the WW-II Pacific theater!

Anyway, Toyota *does* own half of "the twins" with Subaru. The FRS (now FT-86?) is their model, and the BRZ is Subaru's version. Neither are exactly barn-burners by 21st century standards, but they handle well enough where the UK version of "Top Gear" is seeing almost 10 second guest star lap time improvements over their last reasonably priced car.....

NZDubNurd · May 11, 2017

vreihen said:
Anyway, Toyota *does* own half of "the twins" with Subaru. The FRS (now FT-86?) is their model, and the BRZ is Subaru's version. Neither are exactly barn-burners by 21st century standards, but they handle well enough where the UK version of "Top Gear" is seeing almost 10 second guest star lap time improvements over their last reasonably priced car.....

But Subaru appears to have made all the exciting parts of them....

Jack@European_Parts · May 11, 2017

I'm a sick bastard..........

I preemptively told my mom happy mothers day and that she should of coat hangared me when she had the chance.

Uwe · May 11, 2017

Jack@European_Parts said:
I'm a sick bastard..........
I preemptively told my mom happy mothers day and that she should of coat hangared me when she had the chance.

... it was funny to me....

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