... it was funny to me....

[Uwe]

too much close up human interaction.

I think I've found the perfect home for you:





-Uwe-

 

[lykuno]

A German guy called Helmut approaches a lady of the night in London .
"I vish to buy sex viz you."
"Okay," says the girl, "I charge £50 an hour."
"Ist goot, but I must varn you, I am a little kinky."
"No problem," she replies cautiously, "I can do a little kinky for an extra £10."
Helmut agrees
So off they go the girl's flat, where the German produces four large bedsprings and a duck caller.
"I vant zat you tie zese springs to each of your hans und knees."
The girl finds this odd, but complies, fastening the springs as requested.
"Now you vill get down on your hans und knees."
This she duly does, balancing precariously on the springs.
"You vill please to blow zis kwacker as I make love to you."
She thinks this even odder, but figures it's harmless (and the guy is paying).
But the sex is fantastic: honking away on the duck caller, she is bounced all over the room by the energetic German. The climax is the most sensational she has ever experienced, and it is several minutes before she has enough breath to say, "That was totally amazing! What do you call that position?"
"Zat," replies the German, "is ze Four-sprung Duck Technique."

 

[lykuno]

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1755197576792445326

 

[Uwe]

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1755197576792445326

That Swiss German is a bit hard to understand, so I'm thankful for the sub-titles.

-Uwe-

 

[Uwe]

-Uwe-

 

[Crasher]

I think I've found the perfect home for you:

View attachment 2524



-Uwe-

Humm, a little populous…

 

[lykuno]

https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1771934645380100570

 

[SaVAGeSoot]

 

[lykuno]

 

[Crasher]

Stupid is as stupid does.

 

[Uwe]

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,
"I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
I replied,
"Your eyesight is still damn near perfect."
And that's how the fight started........

-Uwe-

 

[SaVAGeSoot]

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,
"I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
I replied,
"Your eyesight is still damn near perfect."
And that's how the fight started........

-Uwe-

 

[SaVAGeSoot]

Someone's status update on Social Media last night....

don’t treat me how i treat you, i deserve better

I found it hilarious... my wife, flew off the handle about how much of a puke this person was!

 

[Crasher]

It is funny how you can be triggered by someone else’s attitude, when not even directed at you. I read something about a vintage bus or truck chap driving a restored old vehicle when a tosser in a Tesla pulled up next to him wound down a window and shouted “booooh, stop killing the planet” and then drove off. It still makes me want to punch the wankers face in just thinking about it.

 

[Uwe]

a tosser in a Tesla pulled up next to him wound down a window and shouted “booooh, stop killing the planet”

It used to be Prius owners who were sanctimonious like that, but I suppose these days, Tesla owners look down on them too?

-Uwe-