Just wanted to post a follow up.
never got the service history.
never heard from any alphabet groups about illegal firmware
replaced the gearbox with a used unit off eBay for $650 and a weekend of work
Two trips cross country and 35k later, no issues.
My advice to anyone experiencing these issues is to replace the gearbox, keep the tin foil for leftovers, and don’t buy VAG cars.
never got the service history.
never heard from any alphabet groups about illegal firmware
replaced the gearbox with a used unit off eBay for $650 and a weekend of work
Two trips cross country and 35k later, no issues.
My advice to anyone experiencing these issues is to replace the gearbox, keep the tin foil for leftovers, and don’t buy VAG cars.