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Thread: ... it was funny to me....

  1. #3291
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    a german tourist walks into a bar in the big apple:
    -two martinies.
    -dry?
    - nein, zwei...

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  3. #3292
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    My granpa destroyed 36 german aircraft during WW2! To this day he is holding the record for worst Luftwaffe mecanic...

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  5. #3293
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    hey, man. what's up?
    not much, i'm watching a weight lifting competition on tv...
    men or women?
    well, i still can't figure that out...

    ------------------------------------------------------------

    last night, passing by the gym i read a slogan: you can do more!
    turned around, went back to the pub and had couple more...

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    gray, misty, cold, wet and miserable day.
    at the cemetery two men are burying their wives...
    - what a miserable day...
    - well, yes, you're right, but look what a good job we did!

    -------------------------------------------------------------

    cheese "Gorgonzola". heck! it sounds like it's gonna eat me!

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  7. #3294
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    an ambulance driver:
    -hey, doc, look at this guy? three times in a row in the e.r. he junky or something?
    -nope. the guy just got married a month ago. his wife still learns to cook...

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  9. #3295
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    scrolling along in the small adds section i read:
    man 40 years looks for sex.
    then the real question dawned on me... is it a missing comma, or a huge tragedy?

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  11. #3296
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    While Bubba and Billy Bob were in the local Wal-Mart, they decided to get in on the weekly charity raffle.

    They bought five tickets each at a dollar a pop. The following week, when the raffle was drawn, each had won a prize. Billy Bob won 1st place- a year's supply of gourmet spaghetti sauce and extra long spaghetti. Bubba won 6th prize- a toilet brush. About a week or so had passed when the men met back at Wal-Mart.

    Bubba asked Billy Bob how he liked his prize, to which Billy Bob replied, "Great!, I love spaghetti!"

    Billy Bob asked Bubba, "How 'bout you, how's the toilet brush?"

    "Not so good," replied Bubba, "I'm thinking 'bout switching back to paper."

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  13. #3297
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    A rich millionaire decides to throw a massive party for his 50th birthday, so during this party he grabs the microphone and he announces to his guests that down in the garden of his mansion he has a swimming pool with two crocodiles in it.

    'I will give anything they desire of mine, to the man who swims across that pool.' So the party continues with no events in the pool, until suddenly, there is a great splash and all the guests of the party run to the pool to see what has happened.

    In the pool is a man and he is swimming as hard as he can, and the tails come out of the water and the jaws are snapping and this guy just keeps on going and the crocodiles are gaining on him and this guy reaches the end and he gets out of the pool, tired and soaked.

    The millionaire grabs the microphone and says, 'I am a man of my word, anything of mine I will give, my Ferraris, my house, absolutely anything, for you are the bravest man I have ever seen. So sir what will it be?' the millionaire asks.

    The guy grabs the microphone and says, 'Why don't we start with the name of the bastard that pushed me in!
    A6 BiTdi Avant MTM
    Retrofitted: Full Led Headlights, DAB, Full Electric Seats, Power Tailgate, Surround View Cameras, Genuine RS6 Grille, RS6 Seats,Leather Door Armrests, Soft Close Doors, Rear Side Blinds, Electric Steering Column, LED Sill Plates, Ambient Lighting Pack, High Beam Assist, Eibach Springs, Led Roof Console, 4 Zone Climate, Rear Heated Seats, Head Up Display, Side assist, Alcantara Interior Retrim

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  15. #3298
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    two cowboys bumped into each other in a bar, after a few drinks.
    - i got to tell you. i'm considered the fastest hand in the entire wild west!
    -well, alright. but i still prefer women...

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  17. #3299
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    ...and said god to noah:
    you better make backup, 'cause i'm gonna format...

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  19. #3300
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    -Uwe-
    The engineering problems are likely insurmountable. It would be like proposing to land a rocket booster section on a barge floating in the middle of the ocean.

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