... it was funny to me....

[Da Tow'd]

BIOLOGY EXAM:

This is straight from Scotland. Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk'.

The question was worth 70 points or none at all. One student, in particular, was hard put to think of seven advantages.

However, he wrote:

1) It is perfect formula for the child.
2) It provides immunity against several diseases.
3) It is always the right temperature.
4) It is inexpensive.
5) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa.
6) It is always available as needed.

And then the student was stuck.

Finally, in desperation, just before the bell rang indicating the end of the test, he wrote:

7) It comes in two attractive containers and it's high enough off the ground where the cat can't get it.

He got an A+.

 

[Uwe]

 

[vaskoto1]

 

[vaskoto1]

Batman! The Batmobil won't start!
Check the battery.
What is tery..?

 

[vaskoto1]

 

[vaskoto1]

updating the emblem also...

 

[Uwe]

Hello!
I need to help me, please!
I have a Skoda Octavia 3, from 2014, and my Webasto don't work now. My VCDS interface, 16.8.0 version show me 2 error, but i can't clear . I need security access code? And if yes, you can send me this code? Thank you!

-Uwe-

 

[DV52]

Batman! The Batmobil won't start!
Check the battery.
What is tery..?

Question from a very young child: What did the riddler call Batman and Robin after he ran over them with a steam roller?
Answer: Flatman and Ribbon!!

 

[Santos]

 

[vaskoto1]

 

[vaskoto1]

 

[vaskoto1]

Yesterday I went to the cardiology. There was Christmas decoration lights, hearts.
Went immediately up to gynecology, only because I got so curious…

 

[vaskoto1]

 

[vaskoto1]

 

[vaskoto1]

John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how handsome John's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of Johns' sexual orientation and this only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye.

Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Mark and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Mark came to John and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"

John said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote: "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."

Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read: "Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Mark, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Mark. But the fact remains that if he was sleeping in his own bed, he would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom"

 

[vaskoto1]

math class at school. the teacher asks a question: now, children, on a wire are 5 birds. if you shoot one, how many will remain there?
little jimmy says: well, mam, the sound of the shot will spook them all, so no one will remain there...
no, jimmy, there will be four left. you answered wrong, though i like the way you're thinking.
mam?
yes, jimmy?
may i ask you a question?
yes jimmy, go ahead.
in the park, on a bench are sitting three women and eating ice-cream.
one is nipping off the top of it, second is licking it on the side, and third is putting it whole in her mouth. which one is married?
teacher blushes.
well, jimmy! i don't know how to answer this...
the one, putting it whole in her mouth has to be the married one.
no mam, the one with a ring on her finger, though i like the way you're thinking...

 

[vaskoto1]

it goes pretty much like this. story of my life...

 

[Jef]

Maybe around 2006-ish, there was a need to display our interfaces when we vended at car shows. This was an early prototype display I came up with that was not used:

 

[vaskoto1]

an old man, driving his old banger comes to an intersection and couldn't stop as a brand new bentley crosses his path.
he hits it in the door...
from the bentley climbs down furious 7 feet tall drug dealer.
grabs the old man and shouts: listen, granpa! this will set me back at least 15k! do you have 15k to pay for my repairs?
the old fellow swallowed: no, i don't have that kind of money, son...
do you have kids?
yes i have a son.
what does he do for a living?
he is a dolphin handler...
call him up right now!
the old man calls and the gorilla grabs the phone and shouts: listen, you. you have 30 minutes to bring me 15k, or else... you got that?!?
the man on the other end answers shortly: yes, i'm coming...
15 minutes later a van pulls up and five men with camos and ski masks spring out and beat the living crap out of the gorilla...
one man comes to the grandpa and pulls his mask off and says:
c'mon dad! how many times do i have to tell you? i'm not a dolphin handler, i'm a seal trainer...

 

[Jef]

The Burger King I go to (Hungry Jack's for you Aussies) now ask for your name when you order.

Some one will get this.