... it was funny to me....

callipygian

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Off topic but I was wondering if someone can tell me how to insert the pictures for the life of me i cant figure it out.
 

vaskoto1

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this is not new, but every time i read it i lmao...
tried my best to translate it from bulgarian-don't kill the translator-this is everything he got...
enjoy:

After I have been told, that mu nuts look like ten-year-old untrimmed bush, I figured it’s time to make the decisive move and buy this gel, because all previous attempts of shaving were futile and on top of that I nearly broke my spinal cord trying to reach the toughest to reach places. All an all I am a bit of a romantic character, so I‘ve decided to do this on my Mrs.’s birthday – sort of a second present. The gel was preordered. As I’m working in the North Sea, I saw myself as a tough dude and thought that all the other reviews I read were written by mere office sissies… Ooh, my brothers of misery-I couldn’t be more wrong! So I waited until my better half went to bed and, hinting of a pleasant surprise went to the bathroom. At first all went smoothly. I applied the gel on the recommended places and waited. And my wait was o, so soon over! In the beginning I felt warmth which in few very short seconds switched in an unbearable burn and feeling I can only describe as if someone is trying very sharply to put on you barb wire underpants, tossing you at the ceiling at the same time. Up until this evening I wasn’t a particularly religious man, but right at this point I was ready to put my faith in every available deity, if only it delivers me from this excruciating burn around my butt hole and total annihilation of both eggs and the sausage. Trying my best not to bite off my lip I tried to wash away the gel in the sink, but the only thing I managed to do was to insert a pinch of hairs in the hole. Through the thick curtain of tears I somehow managed to leave the bathroom and headed to the kitchen. By the time I got there I was already unable to walk, so I crawled the last few yards to the fridge. There I reached into the freezer and grab a tub of ice-cream, threw away the lid and shoved it underneath me. The relief was just phenomenal, but short-lived, because the ice-cream melted fast and the excruciating burn returned as seemed even stronger! And the tub was too small, so I couldn’t be very useful to my butt. I started rummaging through the freezer, hoping to grab something-now the tears poured like waterfall and I was virtually blind. A pack fell into my grasp, later it appeared to contain frozen green beans, so I tore it as quietly as I managed at the time. I scooped few green beans and tried to put them carefully between the cheeks. Didn’t help much and on top of that somehow I managed to insert the gel into the colon and now there was a nuclear reactor blown at full throttle and very low on coolant. I hope never ever again in my life second time over will I dream for a gay snowman to appear right there! Do you fully understand how low was I prepared to go only to stop this diabolical burning?! The only solution my tortured from pain mind could come up with was to try carefully to insert a green bean pod in the place, where no plant grew up until this point in time. Unfortunately, my wife overheard the strange noises from the kitchen and came to check what was going on. She came in on a shocking scene: me, lying on the floor, ass in the air, dripping of strawberry ice-cream shoving a pod of green bean in my butt, saying “O ooh god, this feels sooooo gooooooodddd…”. This was undoubtedly too much for her and she screamed. I haven’t heard her coming in, so she scared the living crap out of me and that caused mu colon to spasm shooting the pod of beans towards her with considerable velocity. Well, pretty clear that pod of beans, farted in your direction in the middle of the night is not the surprise, she was counting on… and the next day we had to give long explanation to the kids where all the ice-cream went…
All and all, thanks to Veet gel you can lose not only the hairs on your body, but your dignity and self esteem too…
 

BB tt

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BB tt

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a little disappointed, he forgot the most important lesson.

What do you do if you and your friends find a gun???

Make sure you are the one holding it!
 
Last edited:

Boki Ar

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... And we can see it on the (pirate) device display... ;) :)
 

Jef

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My 2018 Golf R... the damage at the right rear fender:


My car as of 48 hours ago for the repairs:


I've officially not had the car longer than I have had the car. :banghead:
 

jyoung8607

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My 2018 Golf R
Didn't know you had upgraded, congratulations!

the damage at the right rear fender:
...
My car as of 48 hours ago for the repairs:
...
I've officially not had the car longer than I have had the car. :banghead:
That seems a lot of parts removed for a right rear fender respray...?
 
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