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Thread: ... it was funny to me....

  1. #2791
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    I never cease to be amazed at the profundity of children and at the profanity of adults!! In respect of the former - this morning's read of the Washington Post (yes. fake news media) :

    Quote Originally Posted by Washington Post
    According to the Washington Post, Bret Turner, a teacher at the Head-Royce school in the San Francisco Bay Area, prepared a short riddle for his first graders on Tuesday as part of his puzzle-of-the-week series. "I am the beginning of everything, the end of everywhere. I'm the beginning of eternity, the end of time and space. What am I?".................

    "The first guess from one of my 1st graders was 'death' and such an awed, somber, reflective hush fell over the class that I didn’t want to tell them that actually the answer is the letter e, which just seemed so banal in the moment,"
    Don
    Last edited by DV52; 01-10-2018 at 05:32 PM.
    VW Golf MkVII (103TSI) my13

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  3. #2792
    Verified VCDS User vreihen's Avatar
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    ^^^^^ Can I have "a big bang" for $1,000 please, Alex????? ^^^^^

  4. #2793
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    Quote Originally Posted by vreihen View Post
    So, I was in an employee morale "rah, rah" presentation today at work. The speaker was trying to tell people to have fun at work, and at several points put a few random people in attendance on the spot with fast questions.

    He hit me with a question, "What do you consider a good day at work?"

    My even quicker answer was a sarcastic, "Any day that I don't put a shotgun in my mouth and pull the trigger."

    The baby boomers laughed.

    The millennial snowflakes gasped.

    Somebody followed the early alert procedure, used to anonymously report employees in emotional distress.

    HR was notified.

    My boss' boss came to my office, saying that someone was concerned that I was going to commit suicide.

    A counselor stopped by out of the blue to pay a visit.

    They have a person sitting next to my desk right now, watching me work.

    Yes, mister employee morale "rah, rah" speaker, this is how I have fun at work!!!!!
    vreihen: The "humanist" in me thinks that you have an employer that genuinely cares about the mental health of its staff (albeit an employer that could benefit from a better sense of humor)!! The cynic in me thinks that having been advised of your potential appetite for hand-gun caliber bullets (lead poisoning too?), you have an employer that is trying to mitigate the well known risks of your American propensity for litigation!

    Of course the two explanations are not mutually exclusive (nor are they jointly exhaustive) - but only you can tell me which is the more likely?

    Don
    VW Golf MkVII (103TSI) my13

  5. #2794
    NostraJackAss Jack@European_Parts's Avatar
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    So, I was in an employee morale "rah, rah" presentation today at work. The speaker was trying to tell people to have fun at work, and at several points put a few random people in attendance on the spot with fast questions.

    He hit me with a question, "What do you consider a good day at work?"

    My even quicker answer was a sarcastic, "Any day that I don't put a shotgun in my mouth and pull the trigger."

    The baby boomers laughed.

    The millennial snowflakes gasped.

    Somebody followed the early alert procedure, used to anonymously report employees in emotional distress.

    HR was notified.

    My boss' boss came to my office, saying that someone was concerned that I was going to commit suicide.

    A counselor stopped by out of the blue to pay a visit.

    They have a person sitting next to my desk right now, watching me work.

    Yes, mister employee morale "rah, rah" speaker, this is how I have fun at work!!!!!
    1 on 1............?

    1 == 1 is a equality check which simply means “Is 1 equal to 1?” as == is a Python Comparison Operator which simply means “If the values of two operands are equal, then the condition becomes true”. It can be a boolean conditional test which would return True.
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  6. #2795
    Verified VCDS User vreihen's Avatar
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    Funny story - I co-chair the committee that put together today's employee development events, and both of us were working totally outside of our job descriptions with the HR director to build the presentation tracks, line up speakers, and basically assemble a half-day conference for 200+ people with multiple tracks. The budget for putting this event together was $0.00, and you can imagine the sales/bartering job it took to get people to speak for free. The bean counters subsequently decided to spring for a real keynote speaker and cold sandwiches for lunch. Because of my past experience from managing motorsports events, I had hands-on experience planning/operating conferences in hotels and such. I was cool as a cucumber as the other co-chair and the HR director were sweating things out.

    The early alert procedure thing is actually funded through gob'ment grants, to have everyone look out for both people who might hurt themselves or may be a threat to hurt others. I was actually working closely with that group's chair (in his regular job hat) and a vendor to do a software upgrade while everyone was out of their offices today. He saw first hand that I was happy and not stressed, and knows my sense of humor. I had no intention of setting off the emergency alert procedure, and was glad that someone called off the hounds before they confiscated the scissors out of my desk drawer!

    Long story short, the fact that we were able to even have this event shows that my employer has at least the appearance of caring for their employees. As for which is more likely, they did spring for cold sandwiches for everyone...but not coffee/pastries beforehand. Considering that one of the presentations was a lecture in why pastries and sugary drinks are evil, that may actually be a good thing.....

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  8. #2796
    Verified VCDS User vreihen's Avatar
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    https://www.sfgate.com/technology/ar...e-12491223.php

    Woman returns Christmas tree to Costco 'because it's dead'

    By Mike Moffitt, SFGATE Updated 12:26 pm, Thursday, January 11, 2018


    Costco's magnanimous return policy was severely tested last week in Santa Clarita, Calif., when a woman returned her Christmas tree to the big-box store and asked for a full refund "because it was dead."

    And even though Yule fur trees are pretty much dead once you chop them down a month or so before Christmas, she got her refund, according to another customer.

    Scott Bentley was so outraged the woman's chutzpah, he posted a photo he took of her along with his commentary on Facebook.

    I can't make this stuff up," Bentley wrote. "Woman in line at Costco, totally nonchalant, to return her Christmas tree 'because it is dead' on January 4.

    "If I didn't see it, I wouldn't believe that someone had so little morel [sic] values or lack of conscience."

    While he did note that the woman did get shamed by store personnel and other customers — "to a small degree," he was also angry at Costco for allowing the "ridiculous" return.

    A picture accompanying the post showed a woman with a red "X" over her face standing with a dead Christmas tree at the Costco customer service counter.

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  10. #2797
    Benevolent Dictator Uwe's Avatar
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    The engineering problems are likely insurmountable. It would be like proposing to land a rocket booster section on a barge floating in the middle of the ocean.

  11. #2798
    Verified VCDS User vreihen's Avatar
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    Another funny HR story. For over 30 years, I have been the person who HR contacts to disable computer access minutes before they fire someone. Needless to say, I have come to dread 3:00 PM on a Friday, since the phone ringing usually means that one of my fellow employees is getting the axe, fired, sacked, off-boarded, P45, you get the idea.

    At 3:00 PM yesterday (Friday), I received a priority inter-office envelope from HR with my name on it...and the envelope was pink. I don't know if it is a global thing, but here in the USA a "pink slip" means that someone is being fired. Needless to say, I was feeling more than chest pains as I opened the envelope...

    ...it was a hand-written thank you card from the HR director for my help in putting together the employee development event on Wednesday.

    Who said that HR people don't have a sense of humor?????

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  13. #2799
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    vreihen: I'm not sure if you are a code-cutter as well as a computer expert. If so, perhaps a small sub routine can be added in the system that constantly checks for your own employee records. When someone else is requested to perform the same function for your departure, a small version of system-Armageddon could be imposed - now that's what I call a real test of HR's sense-of-humor!!

    Don
    VW Golf MkVII (103TSI) my13

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  15. #2800
    Verified VCDS User vreihen's Avatar
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    <=== Captain Coredump is the sworn enemy to all programmers, because he always exposes their oversights, bad assumptions, and other sloppy mistakes. It is best for the universe that I not write code, since I wouldn't be able to hold my work up to my own high standards...and would ultimately have a nervous breakdown and start tossing crew members out of the pod bay door in Jupiter orbit.

    The words which you speak are called corporate espionage up here in the positive latitudes/negative longitudes, and will result in criminal charges, civil liability, and being permanently black-listed from getting another job in the IT field or even doing consulting gigs. Plus, I wouldn't want to test HR's sense of humor when it comes to access to my 401(k) retirement account.....

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