... it was funny to me....

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ROTFLMAO @ Penn State University, for naming a dorm building Beaver Hall!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

http://www.charlotteobserver.com/news/nation-world/national/article146404314.html

She kicked a police officer in the face, cops say. Then she had to relieve herself.

BY JEREMY HARTLEY

STATE COLLEGE, PA - A Penn State student faces felony and misdemeanor charges after allegedly fighting with officers over the weekend while intoxicated.

According to the criminal complaint filed by Penn State police, at about 2 a.m. Sunday, an officer observed a female, identified as Kaitlyn J. Testen, 18, of Sayre, stumbling while being assisted by a male along the north side of Haller Hall on campus. The male was reportedly holding her up and preventing her from falling.

The officer approached Testen and the man near Beaver Hall, police said, where Testen attempted to walk away when the officer exited his vehicle. The officer requested they both stop and speak with him regarding their behavior.

Testen was unable to walk away and sat on the curb, police said. While attempting to identify the man, he reportedly fled the scene. Additional officers were requested for assistance in locating him.

While struggling with the man, police said, Testen reportedly attempted to leave the area and refused to identify herself. She was handcuffed and placed on the curb.

University Ambulance Service was requested to evaluate her, police said, as she allegedly had a strong odor of alcohol and slurred speech. She reportedly refused to cooperate with police or EMS and actively resisted being placed on a stretcher.

While on the stretcher, police said, she was told if she continued to kick, she would be placed in jail. Testen broke her feet free and reportedly kicked one officer in the face and a second officer in the arm and hand.

She was placed in a police vehicle where she continued to kick at officers and the vehicle windows, police said. While at the university police station, she allegedly removed her shorts and urinated on an interview room floor.

She was arraigned Sunday before District Judge Kelley Gillette-Walker, according to court documents, and charged with felony counts of aggravated assault, misdemeanor charges of resisting arrest and disorderly conduct and summary counts of public drunkenness, purchase of alcohol by a minor and criminal mischief. Straight bail was set at $50,000.

A preliminary hearing is slated for May 3.
 

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H/T Andy
NDUGuod.jpg
 

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Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army.

On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.

On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.

On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.
 
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The other day, I was sitting in a sports bar watching a baseball game, and the guy sitting next to me leaned over and said, "You know, if Jesus had played baseball, he would have been the greatest baseball player ever!"

I thought about it for a second and said to him, "You know, if Babe Ruth had been the Messiah, the Catholics would have beer and hot dogs for communion!"
 
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It was a blistering hot day and Adam and his two sons, Cain and Abel, were trudging across an expanse of burning, arid desert with their meagre supply of water slung in goatskins over their backs.

All at once, they came upon a lush, verdant oasis - a veritable paradise filled with fruit trees and gorgeous flowers of every description. Wearily, they sat down to rest and to admire the lovely setting.

"Boys," sighed Adam to his two sons, "this is where your mother ate us out of house and home!"
 

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Teaching Math in 1950:
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?

Teaching Math in 1960:
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?

Teaching Math in 1970:
A logger exchanges a set "L" of lumber for a Set "M" of money. The cardinality of set "M" is 100. Each element is worth one dollar. Make 100 dots representing the elements of the set "M." The set "C", the cost of production contains 20 fewer points than set "M." Represent the set "C" as a subset of set "M" and answer the following question: What is the cardinality of the set "P" of profits?

Teaching Math in 1980:
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

Teaching Math in 1990:
By cutting down beautiful forest trees, the Logger makes $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the forest birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down the trees? There are no wrong answers.

Teaching Math in 2000:
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $120. How does Arthur Andersen determine that his profit margin is $60

Teaching Math in 2010:
El hachero vende un camion carga por $100. La cuesta de production es.....

Teaching Math in 2017:
A logger sells a truckload of Canadian lumber for $100. Thanks to Donald Trump, there is now a 20% surcharge to sell it in the USA. How much will the cost of building new homes increase by?

Teaching Math in 2020:
记录器以100美元的价格出售一堆卡车。 他的生产成本是多少?
 

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No sense of humor in those pesky Canucks? Maybe we *should* build a northern wall as well!!!!! :D

gvdFIzuc


http://www.ctvnews.ca/canada/star-trek-inspired-licence-plate-deemed-offensive-in-manitoba-1.3388592

Star Trek inspired licence plate deemed offensive in Manitoba

Nick Troller's two-year-old "ASIMIL8" licence plate is being taken after some people felt it was offensive towards indigenous people.

Josh Dehaas, CTVNews.ca Writer
Published Thursday, April 27, 2017 8:45PM EDT
Last Updated Thursday, April 27, 2017 9:02PM EDT

Manitoba’s public insurance company has revoked a Star Trek inspired custom licence plate after receiving complaints that it’s offensive. Nick Troller’s two-year-old plate reads “ASIMIL8.”

Troller keeps it inside a licence plate holder that says: “WE ARE THE BORG. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.” He says Trekkies will recognize that it’s a reference to the cyborg villains who bellowed “you will be assimilated” on various Star Trek series and movies.

He says strangers have complimented him on the plate and taken photos. “I thought it was funny,” he said.

But Troller got a phone call Wednesday from someone at Manitoba Public Insurance, who he says told him two people had complained that the word “assimilate” is offensive to indigenous people.

The dictionary definitions of assimilate include “to absorb into the cultural tradition of a population or group” and “to take into the mind and thoroughly understand.”

Troller disagrees that it’s offensive.

On Thursday, he was served with a letter that states: “…it has been brought to the attention of this office that the personalized plate ASIMIL8 is considered offensive.” The letter demanded that he “surrender” the plate immediately.

The letter says Troller can either get a new personalized plate or a refund on the $100 charge.

“But that’s not the point,” he says. “We’ve become way too sensitive. You can’t say anything anymore to anybody.”

Ry Moran, from the National Centre for Truth and Reconciliation, is among those who agree with MPI that the word “assimilate” is too offensive to be on a licence plate.

“For basically the entirety of this country’s history, indigenous peoples have been forcibly assimilated through really extremely destructive means and ways,” he said.

Moran added that “words like that, meant or not, have an actual impact on many people.”

MPI’s policy states that “plates cannot contain a slogan that could be considered offensive.” MPI said in a statement that it takes such complaints “very seriously” and will investigate why the plate was approved in the first place.

Licence plates are property of the Crown and there is no appeal process.

Troller’s situation is reminiscent of a controversy in Nova Scotia, where a man named Lorne Grabher’s personalized GRABHER plate was revoked after a complaint that it was offensive to women.

The Justice Centre for Constitutional Freedoms said earlier this month that it plans to sue the Nova Scotia government over the revocation, which it sees as an infringement on freedom of expression.

The JCCF’s John Carpay said the GRABHER licence plate revocation is part of a wider trend in Canadian society.

"Canadians are becoming increasingly less tolerant of free expression," he said. "You have more and more people who believe that they have a legal right to go through life without seeing or without hearing things they find to be offensive."

With a report from CTV Winnipeg’s Jon Hendricks and files from The Canadian Press
 

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Yup, the mafia's way of getting rid of their bodies. Pigs will eat anything. :D

When my wife used to work for a tree crew, one of the groundsmen used to threaten to put their boss through the wood chipper...feet first so he could feel the tingle the whole way up. Gotta have a sick mind to give that much attention to the details.....
 

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A skinny little white man walks into a lift, looks up and sees this huge African man standing next to him. The big man sees the little man staring at him and says : "7 foot 2 inches tall, 369 pounds, 14 inch private part, 5 pound testicles, Turner Brown." The white guy faints and falls to the floor. The big man kneels down and brings him round by shaking him gently. The big man then says "What's wrong with you.?" In a weak voice the little man says "What exactly did you say to me?" The big man replies "I saw your curious look and just gave you the answers to the questions that everybody asks me..." "I'm 7 foot 2 inch tall, I weigh 369 pounds, I have a 14 inch private area, my testicles weigh 5 pound each, and my name is Turner Brown." "Thank fuck for that" replies the little man. "I thought you said Turn around."
 

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Before my son could start going on job interviews, he needed to dress the part. That, he decided, required a $500 suit.

"What!?" I answered, gagging at the price tag. "I've bought cars for $500!"

"That's why I want the $500 suit," he said. "So I don't have to drive $500 cars."
 

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An old priest who became sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery. One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, "If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I'll leave the priesthood!"

Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say they had "fallen".

This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well, until the priest died at a ripe old age. About a week after the new priest arrived, The new priest visited the Mayor of the town because he was very concerned.

The priest said, "you have to do something about the sidewalks in this town. When people come into the confessional, they keep talking about having fallen."

The Mayor started to laugh, realizing that no-one had told the new priest about the code word. Before the mayor could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at the mayor and said, "I don't know what you're laughing about, Your wife fell two times this week."
 

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An old woman goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse she has been living with for the last 40 years.

The Wizard says, "Perhaps, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."

The old woman says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."
 

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There were three young kids who noticed that a fire truck that was passing by with it's sirens sounding. On the front seat was a dog. Of course they had their own explanations for this.

The first little girl said, "The dog is there to keep the people away from the fire whilst the firemen put the fire out."

The second little girl said, "No, the dog is there to give the firemen good luck."

And last but not least the little boy firmly ended the discussion by saying, "No, no, no!!! The dog is needed to find the hydrant."
 

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The Mighty Dodge lives again!!! The upgraded #4 injector line came in from Cummins today, and it took about 1/2 hour to install in the drizzle outside. Still need to take it for a test romp and clear the low rail pressure MIL, but it started up fine once the rail re-pressurized and doesn't appear to be leaking.

Oh, and before Jack calls BS that I did it myself since I didn't call him for help, this is after three rounds of goop hand cleaner:


What is BS is you not using the knowledge recommended by me many years ago to install vacuum lines stripped and slipped over HP injector lines to absorb the resonance............& where ever possible!

Now that you fixed your line and washed your hands go finish the job so it doesn't happen again.:rolleyes:
 
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